Farewell My Darling

My Life, My Love, My Fanci,

You left me on October 4, 2013 when you lost your battle with Pancreatic Cancer.

In all of life and living, we somehow found each other. It took a virtual world for it to happen, otherwise, my perfect soul mate would still be out there lost in your own world and me in mine.

It was a life changing meeting when me met at the Louis Concert. I was sitting in front of you and noticed your profile. It had a quote from a song I just couldn't remember who it was from.  The funny thing was you couldn't either. We talked in IM for a long time.  I didn't notice that you had left the concert. Good thing too, I wouldn't have kept talking with you.  You were not in a good place, I later found out. Yet, you were as captivated by me as i was of you. We were inseparable from that moment on.

We learned so much of each other in time. You were my rock when I was  struggling. I was yours. We laughed, and cried and loved without abandoned. Why not, we found each other.

We would always say that I loved you more than yesterday, but less than tomorrow. Oh, how true that was. The depth of the love we shared was like nothing we ever knew existed. We would say:" that we never would say never on our meeting."  Even though, we knew it was probably unlikely.

Now, you are gone and I am still here, left behind with my sorrow and emptiness. When was it when I was not just me anymore and you were my WE. I truly am the spouse left behind. The Widower. Yet you would want me to be happy and fought long and hard for just that. The choice of your cloths for the day, your behavior and actions were all for me. You maintained our home (Sailors Cove)  for us. How does one show appreciation for all of this?  All I could do was to love you more.

Good bye my love, Sleep well without pain and suffering. You loved God and now you have seen him. I long for the time I see you again. Perhaps in that next life we talked about?

Loosing you and having to sell the estate has been harder than I could imagine. You needed it to be done. I didn't hesitate and saw it through. All of this while you were slipping away from me. You dropped me little hints from time to time and I just didn't see it. It hurt you deeply, hurting me this way. You had to go through things I just couldn't imagine and couldn't do anything to help. How I wanted to hold you through this. Kiss your brow. Calm your fears. Yet it was you doing that for me.

Good Bye my Fanci. I will miss you every single day of my life.

Your Patrick